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The Peanut Butter Solution (1985)

Posted on 13 August 2008 by Charlie Prime

I think it goes without saying that some things lose their appeal to you as you get older (Voltron, wet cement, Mr. Bubbles). I guess now I must lump the French Canadian wonder that is The Peanut Butter Solution into that sad category. Shot in 1985 and directed by Michael Rubbo. Yes. THE Michael Rubbo. The Peanut Butter Solution, or as it debuted, Contes pour tous #2(???????????) was the second in what was intended to be a series of movies for kids but the series was cut short for lack of anyone giving a crap. I saw the movie when I was about 7 years old and for a long time thought it was neato torpedo until age set in and, like the film, hair began to grow in strange places and it eventually fell by the wayside. I went back and watched it recently and I must say that while I will always have a soft spot in my heart for bad movies of the past century it is more bizarre/comically stupid to me now then it was cool to me then.

The movie is the classic tale of a young canadian lad who, after an encounter with a couple of ghost hobos in a freshly burned out mansion, loses his hair due to what is referred to in the movie as “The Fright”. The hobos visit him again and give him a secret formula for a goop made from peanut butter and whatever else kind of gross junk he can find in his garage that will supposedly make his hair grow back. And it does. Uncontrollably. He is then kidnapped by his Italian art teacher, known only as The Senior, who uses the boy’s gnarly lochs to make paint brushes that can paint doorways to anywhere. He is rescued by his soon to be lesbian sister and his Asian/Canadian best friend who dresses like Rocky Balboa. I know. It’s been done to death. The movie is so Canadian you expect Bob and Doug Mckenzie to come out a do a musical number at some point. There’s alot of “abooting” and “eh-ing” throughout the movie that starts to grate on your ears after a bit, and i’m pretty sure the movie was shot over the course of a drunken afternoon whithout any sort of permits to speak of. The Peanut Butter Solution does have one rather large draw to it despite it’s overt sillyness and it’s, well, Canadianess. It’s original and it isn’t afraid to show kids something that’s going to piss their parents off a little. That’s the one thing I miss about kids movies from the 70’s and 80’s, they were just a tad raunchy, enough to make kids laugh and repeat it at school the next day at least.

For all it’s failings The Peanut Butter Solution was at base a good movie, or a least from my big, bloodshot, grown up eyes, a good bad movie. It’s stupid enough to be funny on my very low intellectual level and it’s weird enough for me to want to show to my kid, so in conclusion I recommend this movie if you like strange things that came out of the eighties or maybe if you just talked your friend into eating ’shrooms and want to see him scream alot and try to crawl under his car. Oh! I thought I might mention that at one point in the movie the Asian kid puts the “solution” on his crotch and gets super long pubes that grow out of his pants legs. Just thought I’d throw that in there, you know, in case you where thinking of NOT watching it.

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The Strangers

Posted on 15 May 2008 by Jesse Wayne

I’m now convinced that watching anything other than a light comedy first thing is the morning is a terrible idea. Take Ingmar Bergman’s last movie Saraband for instance. It’s a tough, depressing film. I had to watch it at 9am one dreary morning, I was ruined for the rest of the day. While The Strangers isn’t as draining as Bergman; it shouldn’t be the first thing you see in the morning.

The Strangers is loosely based on actual events1. A couple returns home one night from a wedding reception and they get terrorized by 3 people in masks. You might ask “Is this another torture movie like Hostel?” and I would respond with “Actually it’s more like Haute Tension, but without the Haute2.”

I’m a big fan of good home invasion movies. It’s scarier when it’s something that you can imagine could actually happen. Movies like The Exorcist II, Candyman, or The Manitou3 aren’t that scary to me cause they all take place in a different universe.  I’m much more frightened by stuff like Last House on the Left, The Exorcist, or The Exorcist III because they’re all based on true events, or events that could quite easily be true.

The Strangers starts off really strong.  There’s great relationship drama between the couple (Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman), you’ve got a creepy girl knocking on the door asking for someone that doesn’t live there, and then people in masks start running around the house giving everyone the willies.  The movie is only about 84 minutes long, but when we got to the third act I was done.  It seemed like there was nowhere else for the movie to go and come to find out that’s exactly what happened.

I’m not saying it’s terrible because it’s not, there’s some really fantastic cinematography, loads of great imagery and really effective suspense. The interaction between the couple was great, I wish there were no strangers and the movie was just the couple dealing with each other after the wedding reception from earlier. It could be called The Couple and I probably wouldn’t see it because why would I watch a movie called The Couple?

1. the Manson murders
2. Better known in America as High Tension, a nifty little movie
3. Please please please watch that trailer!

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