I’ve never been a New Kids fan. When they were doing their thing in the 80’s, I was listening to mostly terrible Christian music (Except for Keith Green, Lamb, and 2nd Chapter of Acts… of course) cause I wasn’t allowed to listen to the radio. I did manage to get my aunt to make me a mix tape of The Beach Boys though.

I never really knew any of NKOTB’s songs. Sure I heard “Hanging Tough” a few times and whatnot, but I couldn’t tell you how it goes. It’s 2008 and they’re back with a new album I guess. I haven’t really read much on what’s going on and I think it’s better that I stay ignorant of the whole affair. I should note that I stopped listening to current music on the radio or TV about 4 years ago. I have no idea what’s cool today, but I’m pretty sure it’s not NKOTB.

I do remember something kinda cool about New Kids. My friend David had a slap bracelet with a bunch of 80’s metal bands on it, I believe it had Twisted Sister, Ratt, definitely Poison, Def Leppard, and maybe Judas Priest or Cinderella as well. But at the end of the bracelet was a picture of NKOTB for no reason at all. It looked a lot like this.

Here’s the video and the lyrics to their new single Summertime:

So Donnie who apparently is now a helicopter pilot tells the boys that “It’s on”. We’re not sure what he means yet. By the way he’s dressed it might be a heist

Spoken:

Jones Beach 1988. Come on!

Maybe they’re all going back to dig up a time capsule?

Do you remember,
Or should I rewind,
To that summer when you caught my eye,

Oh, it’s not a heist. He’s talking about a girl

I played it cool,
The weather was hot,

Wow, the lip syncing is really bad already

You had the beauty and the beach on lock.

They really should have done the heist video instead, we had the guy in the fancy car, a helicopter, a big boat, running through the jungle, it could’ve been a really neat high concept video, I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse from here on out

With your flip flops, half shirt, short shorts, mini skirt,

Hold on! Short shorts AND a mini skirt? Who does that? If anyone can prove to me that a female has EVER worn short shorts and a mini skirt in 1988 on Jones Beach I’ll eat my hat

Walkin’ on the beach, so pretty,

I guess the guys lost their pitch along with their fan base. Autotune?

You wasn’t lookin’ for a man,

He changed clothes in the helicopter I guess, why didn’t he put on his beach clothes and put his suit in a suitcase instead, I’m sure it’s no fun trying to change in a cramped copter.

When you saw me in the sand,
But you fell for the boy from the city.

Is he talking about himself? I think it should be obvious, but I’m unclear on this part

I was like, “hey, girl, can I get your number”
I remember what you told me too,
“Don’t call after ten”
But you know that I did,

Yeah, I’ll bet her dad totally didn’t mind at all. Good job, now she’s not allowed to see you or anyone else.

‘Cause I couldn’t stop thinkin’ ’bout you.

I’m sure she won’t forget you either since you’re the reason she’s grounded for 2 weeks.

I think about you in the summertime,

Only in the summertime? What a romantic.

(Oh oh)
And all the good times we had, baby,
Been a few years and I can’t deny,
(Oh oh)
The thought of you still makes me crazy,
I think about you in the summertime,
(Oh oh)
I’m sittin’ here in the sun with you on my mind.
You’re my, my summertime.

Wow, that shindig is sporting a really great girl to guy ratio for him. I wonder where all the dudes are.

Do you remember,
I’ll never forget,
Touchin’ your body all soakin’ wet,
The water was cool,

The bouncer is wearing a Misfits hoodie, I’m sure he listens to them all the time

The feelin’ was hot,
Kissin’ on you while the ocean rocked.

That’s gotta be gross. I can’t stand the taste of salt water on my lips.

In your strapless sundress,
Kickin’ back, no stress,
As long as we was together,
‘Cause we were feelin’ young love,

She might be feeling young love, but I think that boat has sailed for you boys.

And we couldn’t get enough.
Baby, I could reminisce forever.

Icky

And now I’m like,
Hey, girl, don’t you know I miss it,
And I wonder if you miss it too,
Never thought it would end ’til it did,
Now, I’m here and I can’t stop thinkin’ ’bout you.

So, is she there too, or is he just talking to himself?

I think about you in the summertime,
(Oh oh)
And all the good times we had, baby,
Been a few years and I can’t deny,
(Oh oh)
The thought of you still makes me crazy,
I think about you in the summertime,
I’m sittin’ here in the sun with you on my mind.
You’re my, my summertime.

What kind of party is this? This never happens!

Spoken: Break it down.
Summer ended,
Winter started,
It got colder,
When we parted ways,
(Spoken: I like this part.)

You do? Well that’s just great, I almost did until you ruined it. Again, why the auto tuned vocals? I’m pretty sure Joey knows how to sing for real.

As the seasons change.
(Spoken: Bring it forward, bring it back)

Quit talking over Joey!

Winter melted,
Spring I felt it,
Summertime will never be the same,
(Without you. My summertime.)

I’ve never understood dancing like this

My summertime.

I think about you in the summertime,
I think about you
(Oh oh)
And all the good times we had, baby,
We had baby
It’s been a few years and I can’t deny,
I can’t deny
(Oh oh)
The thought of you still makes me crazy,
Makes me crazy
I think about you in the summertime,

What’s with the dancing? I don’t understand synchronized dancing. It totally distracts me from the song! …Oh.

I’m sittin’ here in the sun with you on my mind.
On my mind,
My summertime.

They threw in a fake crowd?!?! Lame.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh yeah.

You’re not convincing me that any of you guys had a fling in the summertime with your totally unnecessary vocal runs.