People have begun to notice my lifestyle and I’ve been fielding a lot of flack. I’ve been called a “bum” and a “freeloader” multiple times. I am convinced that these otherwise kind people are simply suffering from slight envy of my situation. I was also told that I should pick a real cause. I will address that now. Freeganism is not my cause. My cause is consumerism and freedom. I like to remember that I don’t need a big fat cushy marketing job to live comfortably. I’m not saying my job is cushy, but it has definitely lead to a complacency that I do not enjoy. If I can cut my living expenses way down, I won’t need to make a lot of money to collect material possessions that will doubtless lead to my happiness¹.

Besides, if I’m not paying for my food, I have more money to give that animal Sallie Mae.

I think I’m buying a MacBook Pro² this week.

Day 15

Today I had an apple for breakfast

and an egg roll from the accounting stash for lunch.

Cake³. My roommate gave me a potato and I made fries for dinner. I also incorporated the enriched rolls from week1. Good thing they’re enriched⁴, I guess. Anything normal or healthy would definitely be spoiled by now.

Day 16

This morning my coworker Andy saw me in the break room and told me he had an extra baked good if I was interested. He read last week’s post. I, of course, was interested and enjoyed a ridiculously good scone for breakfast. It was from this bakery in east Nashville, Sweet 16th.

I’m planning on eating some of the chinese food from accounting for lunch. It’s only a couple days old. Don’t be grossed out.

Day 17

Today I had a number of free items. This “Lasagna” was by far the most interesting. Note the cheese whiz.

So much for my attempted health kick, I guess.

Day 18

Jesse Wayne bought me an ice cream cone from McDonald’s. I have a feeling it wasn’t really ice cream. I realize more every day that I am anti fast food.

Tonight was a delight. I stumbled upon a treasure trove of meats at a cook out. I sort of ignored the whole “bring your own” thing. No one said anything to me though, so I guess it was okay. I ate way too much, but I wasn’t sure when I’d see another opportunity for such serious protein.

The cook out really paid off socially. I met two girls who are interested in starting a dinner group with me called “Dumpster Diving for Dinner.” I need to spend next week checking out the dumpster scenes. I am seriously considering making this a real deal. Though I’ve suffered a bit over the last three weeks, I’ve had a pretty good experience. I wonder if I can find a way to sustain myself outside of the generosity of others.

Day 19

Sunday=Slowday
I really didn’t get to eat. I went and did some background vocals for some artist from Austria, Son of the Velvet Rat. I was sort of hoping to snag some more free food, but they wrote me a sweet check instead. Of course, I can’t buy any food with that sweet check, but I’m one step closer to my material desires.

This is my last apple.

Day 20

Today seriously worked out. Holly from accounting baked cookies and practically force fed me. I must have had 40.

I hung out with Jesse and he brought me his leftovers.

I was the subject of a photo shoot and got paid in leftover groceries! This is completely righteous.

To top the whole mess off, this kid I never talk to asked me if I would eat dinner with him. I am not normally so rough, but straightaway I asked, “Are you paying?” He said yes and I said I was down. I met him at Panera and ordered as much food as I possibly could get away with. I will have leftovers.

Note the delicious salad. I wasn’t able to get a picture of everything I had. I just quickly snapped a shot when he got up for a minute. I figured it wouldn’t go over too well…

Day 21

Last night’s Panera provided lunch.

I also enjoyed some sweet pizza. I was so hungry I didn’t let it cook all the way. I still have quite a few big doughy pieces in the fridge. I am feeling pretty good. I think I’m adapting pretty well. I’ve still been working out and haven’t been overly tired or anything.

Now if I can just get these obnoxious hipsters⁵ off my back. If one more little dweeb in skin tight pants tells me I’m not really a ‘true freegan,’ something real bad is going to happen. If you’re worried about my lack of dedication, perhaps you should return to my first post, in which I made the statement,

I’ve recently been fascinated by the concept of “freeganism.” Since I have essentially no gripes with capitalism, I’ve decided to adapt this concept to my own personal selfish lifestyle. In other words, I choose to conserve resources I typically use on food in order to waste additional resources on material possessions. I have a long list of expensive things I would like to own in the near future1. Some of them are accidentally eco-friendly, so maybe the spirit of freeganism will still live on through my manipulation of its precepts.

1. Facetious-not meant to be taken seriously or literally: a facetious remark.
2. MacBook Pro is one of the items on the original list of desired material possessions.
3. Not actual cake, term used to describe something as being easy: piece of cake.
4. Enriched- another word for “unhealthy”
5. Hipster- A noisy person of no real worth or consequence who tends to engage in combat over ridiculous things real people find unimportant. Let it be known that I have been called “tragically hip” on a number of occasions. This is a misnomer.