Sexy People is a blog that celebrates the perfect portrait. I wish I had a scanner so I could put up my ridiculously perfect portraits.

When I touring in Oregon we played an outside show at the bottom of a small mountain. We had some time to kill so the drummer and I climbed the mountain. It wasn’t a mountain mountain, it was fairly grassy, but deceptively steep. Close to the top we found an old rickety abandoned cabin. The floor was littered with National Geographics from the ages. Amongst the mess I found a perfect portrait. It was of an unattractive girl wearing her basketball uniform holding a ball. She had the frizziest hair ever, it even dwarfed the basketball. Anyways, I obviously kept the portrait and put it up on the passenger’s visor in the van. I named her Andrea. A few hours later this guy from the show was talking to us by the van. He noticed the picture and I told him she was my girlfriend from back home. He didn’t miss a beat and sincerely told me she was really hot. I know, it wasn’t a great story, but I really miss Andrea and I still wonder who stole my picture of her.

This last one is one of my favorites.

UPDATE!!!

ANDREA HAS BEEN FOUND!!!

Thanks Josh. I guess her hair wasn’t so frizzy, and she kind of has an Andre the Giant face.

Remember that Brady Bunch episode where they went to a ghost town and got kidnapped or something? It might have been an episode of Out Of This World though, or maybe all sitcoms resort to the ghost town episode like they do with the amnesia episode, and the episode where someone has 2 dates on the same night at the same restaurant, and they have to keep running from one table to the other so they’re not found out. Anyways, here’s the 10 most amazing ghost towns according to oddee.com, a site that I think was made just for me.

#8 Kowloon Walled City, AKA The Lawless city is one of my favorites. The thought of a city ruled by anarchy is just amazing.

Thanks go to Jason for introducing me to this awesomeness.

1. The first thing you need for a killer picnic is great food. You want to bring something light and somewhat portable since you will be carrying it to and eating it in a park or other outdoor area. Our menu consisted of sandwiches (Curried Chicken on Spicy White Pepper-Jack Bread), plums, and a dry Riesling wine. For the sanwiches we used the cookbook Beautiful Breads & Fabulous Fillings and referenced the book Beard on Bread for help baking the bread. For wine coupling I usually refer to The Wine Bible or, if you live in Nashville, you can go to The Wine Shoppe at Green Hills and tell them what you are having; they always have great advice.

2. Next you will need some gear. I recommend a picnic basket, or a reasonable equivalent, and a quilt. You also need paper plates, plastic forks, and if you will be having wine, wine glasses and a device to open it. I recommend purchasing a 2-Step Waiter’s Corkscrew. If you live in Nashville you can get one at Harris Teeter.

3. Finally, bring a camera, then you can document your awesome food.

The beer cans act as the logical conclusion of southern living. They were meant less as a criticism and more as an abstraction of a group of people and how they live. With the beer cans I wanted to reflect on and entertain stereotypes of the south with mild cynicism. The entire project came as a precipitation of my attendance of the Southern Literary Festival in New Orleans.

Hush

Mulch

Pool

Sonic

Stairs

Beer Batter

San Antonio native, Ruben Juarez, exemplifies art photography. Here is a recent shot of musician Justin Saunders.